


Church Bells!

by LadyVamp



Category: K-pop, Super Junior
Genre: Christianity, Churches & Cathedrals, M/M, Religion, Tragedy, church, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 01:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyVamp/pseuds/LadyVamp
Summary: He could hear the church bells ringing, and somehow he knew, everything was going to be alright.





	Church Bells!

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot it inspired by teh song "Church Bells" by Carrie Underwood.

Church Bells

 

       Soft sunlight filtered in through a row of stained glass windows, casting colorful shadows on the congregation below. It passed over the bowed heads of the men and women gathered in the long wooden pews, each one seated in silence as they held their own private conversations with God. In the tall stone belfry high above the ominous sound of church bells could be heard echoing their bittersweet song. It was a quiet Sunday morning, one the congregation had experienced many times, yet seated nervously in the back of the convernouse cathedral was a a new face.

     Sitting alone in the last row of pews was a man who had never once set foot inside a cathedral in his thirty odd years of life. He hadn’t been raised in a feligouse home, nor had he ever given it much thought as he grew into adulthood. It wasn’t something he paid much attention to, yet deep down he had always wondered about the big questions that religion seemed to answer. His presence this morning had nothing to do with curiosity about the origins of the world, no, it was an act of desperation from a broken man.

     His long slender fingers clutched the worn black bible in his hands, never ever laying eyes on a single word inside it, but hoping it held the answers he was seeking. The floppy black hat sitting atop his long dark hair hid a pair of dark sunglasses, his attire not exactly appropriate for a formal house of worship, but necessary to hide the shameful bruises that decorated his pale face. Beneath his black sweater and tight fitting pants were more disgraceful injuries left on his thin frame by strong hands that claimed to serve the God whose house he was currently seated in.

     Shutting his eyes, the desperate man took a moment to recall the reason he was seated where he was this Sunday morning. He remembered the night he’d met the man who’d left his so desperate for answers. He’d been dancing in on the floor of a crowded club with no care in the world, his life simple, but poor. A pair of strong arms had appeared around his thin waist and a deep voice had asked him to dance. The night had ended in a hotel room lying naked in those same strong arms. In retrospect, he knew his actions had been reckless and deep down he almost blamed himself for what he resulted from them. Maybe God was punishing him, if he even existed.

       “I love you, Heechul-ah.” that deep voice had told him dozens of times over the next few months, each time the words were spoke making him believe them even more. “I want to take care of you. I want you to be with me forever..,”  
      “I love you too, Siwon-ah.”

     Siwon had been handsome, kind, and so very rich, traits Heechul had clung to on the nights the devote man would come home drunk and full of rage. He dismissed his lover’s behavior as something to get used to, something to ignore. Siwon prayed every morning, read from the bible at night, and attended church every Sunday. It all seemed so strange to Heechul, for Siwon professed to be a good son of God, yet he lived with a man and spent his Friday nights drowning in liquor.        

      “I love you, Heechul. God doesn’t punish those who love.” Siwon had told him when he’s questioned their relationship.

      For some reason, Heechul didn’t believe him. The first night Siwon’s drunken rage had been turned on him, Heechul somehow thought he was being punished for tempting such a devote soul into sin. It was his fault Siwon spent his night fornicating with a man. He deserved to be beaten. He deserved to be punished. He deserved this…,

     Tears sliding down his face, Heechul peered from behind his dark sunglasses at the beautiful cathedral around him. He felt a sense of calm overcome him as he sat in the back of the church listening to the church bells ringing. He knew now that he hadn’t deserved a single blow he’d received. Siwon’s wickedness was of his own doing. It wasn’t his fault his boyfriend had been a troubled man, and it wasn’t his fault things had turned out the way they had.

      “Am I going to Hell?” Heechul whispered to noone, clutching the bible in his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “Am I bad person?”  
     In a mansion on the outskirts of Seoul that used to be home to an abusive man and his beautiful boyfriend, the rooms stood silent and still. Glass covered the floor of the front hall and a man lay face down at the foot of the stairs. His still form was cold and long since passed, the result of a fight he started but his object of abuse had ended. Heechul broke down in tears as he remembered the events of the prior evening, his hands shaking and head hanging low in shame.

      “I’m sorry..,” Heechul sobbed, his voice soft and low.

     “Whore!” Siwon’s angry voice had filled his ears as he stormed into the bedroom smelling of strong alcohol. “It’s your fault I’m like this!”

      “Wonie, what’s wrong?” Heechul had asked his lover, closing the book he’d been reading and cringing at the sight of the broken man in front of him, for he knew what was about to happen to him. “You need to rest. Don’t do this tonight, please?”  
       “Don’t lecture me!” Siwon had shouted in return, stomping over to the bed and grabbing hold of Heechul’s thin arm. “I told this was your fault!”

      “I didn’t do anything!” Heechul had shrieked as he was pulled out of bed and thrown on the floor like a piece of trash. “Wonie, please!”

      He’d seen the Devil in his normally kind lover’s eyes as said man had pinned him down against the floor and held a strong hand to his throat. The blows to his face had been painful, but he’d felt them many times before. Being struck in a fit of drunken rage hadn’t been a new thing for their relationship. But, what had broken Heechul’s soul last night was his lover’s abusive hands pulling at his pajamas and the sinful look in his normally kind gaze.

     “Get off me!” Heechul had cried out as Siwon tried to undress him, his grasp bruising and clumsy.

     He didn’t remember how he’d been able to escape his lover’s hold, but Heechul did remember crawling half dressed across the floor of their bedroom and stumbling out into the second floor hallway. Siwon had caught him at the top of the stairs, the look in his eyes causing Heechul’s heart to race with uncontrollable fear. Picking up the vase of roses on the hall table, Heechul had slammed it again Siwon’s head, sending the handsome man tumbling backwards down the stairs.

      “I didn’t mean it…, I…,” Heechul cried, taking a deep breath as he listened to the church bells ring, something warm and assuring filling his heart with each chime of the bells. “I’m sorry…,”

     Even though he knew he’d have to answer for what he’d done, Heechul somehow understood that God didn’t blame him for his actions. He’d been put in an impossible situation that tested every fabric of his being, yet he’d survived. He regretted what he’d done, regretted every moment of his life with the man who’d harmed him, and deep down he wanted to beg for forgiveness of his sins. Though Kim Heechul wasn’t a religious man, for he’d never given it much thought in the past, in this moment he knew that he was more of a child of God than his seemingly devote lover had ever been.

     “Dear God in heaven, forgive me for what I’ve done.” Heechul prayed for the first time in his thirty odd years of life. “Forgive me…,”

      Stepping from the church a few hours later, Heechul let out a long breath and gazed up at the tall stone belfry. The bells rang freely above him, their ominous sound echoing from the tower and filling the bright sun filled sky. Something about their sound eased Heechul’s heart as he prepared himself to take responsibility for his sins. Everything was going to be alright, no matter how much suffering he had to go through, in the end, he knew that he’d be okay.

 

THE END!


End file.
